Guidance
by Lady Arreya
Summary: A little coda to the episode "Nightingale." P/T.


Summary: A little coda to "Nightingale." P/T.

"As we get older it becomes increasingly difficult to have heroes, but it is sort of necessary." – Ernest Hemingway

This story is dedicated to Julie, a terrific mentor and friend. :)

Originally written December 2000.

* * *

"B'Elanna? I'm home..."

He walked in to find her lounging on their bed, looking thoughtful and absently toying with the ring on her finger – her wedding band. She looked beautiful as always, and very comfortable clad in her blue silk robe. The one that matched her blue silk nightgown, which he hoped she was wearing underneath the robe... That is, if she was wearing anything underneath...

She gave him a perfunctory smile as he went over to her and dropped a kiss on her forehead.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"Fine. Warp drive is still off-line, but we finished the impulse upgrades, repaired the thermal regulators in the environmental controls, replaced all the fused relays in the main computer... and Icheb broke up with me."

Tom stared at her, certain he hadn't heard correctly. "What?"

"I said..." She paused for dramatic effect. "Icheb broke up with me."

"Icheb broke up with you?" he echoed. "What are you talking about?"

B'Elanna was trying not to smile and failing terribly.

"Well... apparently he thinks I'm in love with him."

"Icheb thinks you're in love with him?" Tom started laughing and couldn't stop. It was just too ludicrous.

"Mm-hmm... He came to me in Engineering today and wanted to talk about 'us.' Specifically, our relationship."

"I didn't know the two of you _had_ a relationship."

"Neither did I. I tried to convince him of that, but it was no use. He had all this 'evidence'..."

"'Evidence?' Like what?"

"Oh... that I've been giving him compliments, making excuses to see him, inviting him to go rock climbing, that kind of thing..."

"Uh-huh..." Tom chuckled.

"And then he told me that he couldn't handle it anymore – that you were on to us! He was in a panic because you challenged him to some 'ritual contest,' in accordance with  
Klingon tradition..."

His jaw dropped. "Are you serious?!"

"Tom... what did you say to that poor boy anyway?!"

"Nothing! ... Unless.... Uh-oh..." Tom suddenly remembered their conversation about race cars and started laughing all over again.

"What? What?!"

"I invited him to race with me in my race car holoprogram tomorrow... He must have thought I was challenging him to a competition for your affections... !" Tom couldn't finish. He was laughing too hard.

B'Elanna broke out into a laugh of her own.

"It's partly my fault," he added between laughs. "I was joking around with him about how much time he was spending with you. I guess he took it seriously."

"Oh, Tom..."

Tom was shaking his head, trying to regain his breath. His sides hurt from laughing so much. "So then what happened?"

"Well... Icheb said that he and I should 'do the honorable thing' and stop seeing each other. I finally had to agree... that no matter how painful it would be for me... we  
would end it."

Tom guffawed.

"Well, it was a lot easier than continuing to argue with him," she said reasonably.

"And it was the only way to save him from the wrath of your jealous husband," he kidded.

She raised an eyebrow. "Of course."

"Wow... what is it with you and these younger guys anyway? First Freddie Bristow, then Vorik, and now Icheb..."

B'Elanna threw her hands up in the air. "Don't look at me! It's not like I'm encouraging them or anything!"

"I never thought I'd have competition from a kid half my age..." he couldn't resist teasing her.

"Is it my fault that they find me so irresistible?" she asked with mock exasperation.

He hugged her tightly to him, then said in a more serious tone, "They're not the only ones who find you irresistible, B'Elanna."

She looked up at him. Seeing the warmth, love and tenderness in his eyes filled her heart with happiness.

"Lucky for you, you're the only one _I_ find irresistible, Tom Paris."

He grinned. "Yeah, I'm a lucky guy..."

They sat together comfortably entwined on the bed, lost in their own thoughts.

Finally, B'Elanna broke the silence. "So what are we going to do with poor Icheb now that we've both scared him away?"

"Hmm... yeah.... I guess the race car contest is off..."

"Just like the rock climbing." B'Elanna sighed. "It's too bad – I really was looking forward to it. I need to take a break and have some fun when this maintenance overhaul is all over..."

He gently massaged her aching shoulder muscles, then kissed the nape of her neck.

"We could go... just you and me..." Though he was completely enamored of his race car program these days and rarely wanted to do anything else, he was an expert rock  
climber and certainly enjoyed it.

She kissed him lightly on the lips. "Thanks. I'd like that."

"Maybe we could go climbing in the caverns of Sakari..." he suggested, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

"I don't think we'd get a whole lot of climbing done there, considering what happened last time..."

"Mmm... was that so bad?"

"No... not bad at all..."

They smiled at that pleasant memory.

"Seriously, though... what should we do about Icheb? He seems so lonely, and I feel bad that we've made it worse."

"Hmm... I don't know," he mused.

They both pondered that for a few moments.

"I've got it!" Tom suddenly exclaimed, snapping his fingers triumphantly.

"What?"

"I'll get Harry to spend some time with him. They can borrow my Captain Proton holoprogram. Harry can be Captain Proton, and Icheb can be Buster Kincaid."

B'Elanna eyed him skeptically. "_That's_ your brilliant idea?"

"Think about it... It's perfect!"

"What do you mean?"

Tom explained. "When I asked Harry if I could go with him on the away mission, he said no, because I always get to be Captain Proton while he's Buster Kincaid... but that this time it was his turn."

"Oh." She digested that for a long moment. "I was wondering why this mission was so important to him."

"He's been dying to get a chance at command."

"But he's been in command of Voyager before. Wasn't he working the night shift command just a few days ago?"

"Yeah, but being in charge on the night shift isn't the same as having your own command. Harry wanted to be captain of the Nightingale..."

"The what?"

"The Nightingale. That's what Harry named his ship."

"You're kidding. He named it?"

"He named it."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"He must have really wanted to be in charge of this mission if he wouldn't let you come along."

"He also told me that I should stay on Voyager because I was a married man with 'family responsibilities.' That I should leave the away missions to the 'young, unattached guys.'"

Her lips quirked in a smile. "Responsibilities... like guarding your wife from overzealous 'young, unattached guys?'"

Tom chuckled. "I don't think that's quite what he meant, but that's not such a bad idea. Especially with a wife as attractive and irresistible as mine..."

She playfully punched him in the arm. "If that's the extent of your 'family responsibilities,' you don't have to worry. You can go on all the away missions you like."

"Well... I'm thinking that my 'family responsibilities' could change at any time..."

"What?"

"You never know."

B'Elanna stared at him, not sure that she liked the direction this conversation was taking. So she returned to the previous topic. "I'm a little worried about Harry. He seems so  
restless lately."

Tom sighed. It was true, and he was worried too.

"I think the letters from home that we just received depressed him. He keeps hearing about all his old friends who are so successful – who've been promoted, been climbing the Starfleet career ladder... while he's still an ensign."

"Oh." She'd had no idea that it bothered Harry so much. He joked about being "the eternal ensign" from time to time, but she had always thought he was just kidding.

"It _is_ different out here in the Delta Quadrant," Tom said thoughtfully. "Harry hasn't had a lot of chances for career advancement, chances that he might have had if he were in the  
Alpha Quadrant. He's disappointed that he hasn't achieved more of his goals."

B'Elanna hadn't really thought of it that way, but it made sense. She had always known Harry to have high expectations for himself.

"It must be frustrating to see your expectations go unfulfilled and not really be able to do anything about it."

It wasn't a problem for either of them, which was why it had taken so long for them to realize why Harry was so down. After all, they were both satisfied with their current ranks and positions on Voyager, and they didn't feel the need to climb the Starfleet career ladder.

Tom wasn't all that interested in command. He'd rather fly the ship than sit in the captain's chair. And he had the Delta Flyer if he ever wanted to be in command of his own ship.

B'Elanna wasn't interested in command either. As long as she got to work on the engines, she was perfectly content.

For Tom and B'Elanna, what they had on Voyager had surpassed all of their expectations. They had been given a second chance on Voyager, and that was all they really needed  
or wanted.

They felt lucky to have their commissions... and to have each other.

Still, B'Elanna felt somewhat guilty about not noticing Harry's problems earlier.

"Do you think we've been neglecting him since we got married? I mean, we _are_ his best friends."

Tom frowned. "I don't think he feels neglected, but maybe... maybe us getting married was another reminder of how his expectations haven't been met. In his personal life, I  
mean. After all, Harry hasn't really been romantically involved with anyone in a while, and he's probably not going to settle down anytime soon."

She hadn't thought about that before either, but it was true. Harry hadn't had very much success in the way of romantic relationships, and after seven years it was becoming  
less and less likely that he would become seriously involved with anyone on the ship.

"Harry's a family kind of guy," Tom continued. "He's always counted on having a wife and kids of his own someday."

"Poor Harry," B'Elanna said softly. "No wonder he's been moping around lately."

"That's why I suggested Captain Proton. It'd be good for both of them."

"Okay. So playing Captain Proton might cheer Harry up, but what about Icheb? Somehow I don't think he'll like the program any more than Seven did."

"Well... it doesn't have to be Captain Proton. It'd just be great for both of them to spend time with each other. Harry's a lot less intimidating than we are..."

"...and he doesn't have a wife," she finished wryly.

Tom laughed. "Right. So Icheb wouldn't have to worry about Harry challenging him to any ritual contests."

He grew serious again. "I think it'll work. Harry would be a terrific mentor for Icheb, and it'll help take his mind off his problems."

"Icheb could certainly use the guidance. He needs a good role model. Someone who can help him improve his social skills."

"I agree. He always seems so uncomfortable with other people. Even with himself. I guess he's at that awkward age where he's still struggling to find his identity."

"Well, he hasn't had much of a childhood, and in many ways he's grown up too fast. He's been through so much trauma already."

"He takes everything so seriously," Tom mused.

B'Elanna nodded. "He puts a lot of pressure on himself because he feels like he has to make a meaningful contribution to Voyager."

"Sounds a lot like Harry."

"Yeah. They are very much alike in a lot of ways."

"It'll boost Harry's self-confidence to have someone look up to him, depend on him. I've always treated Harry like a kid brother, but he's grown up a lot these last few years."

"I know." They were both protective of Harry, but he wasn't as young and naive as he had been when he'd first come on board Voyager. He could take care of himself now.

The more she thought about it, the better she liked the idea of Harry as Icheb's mentor. Harry was intelligent, patient, sensitive and kind. He was young enough that Icheb could  
relate to him and vice versa, but not so young that Icheb would see him as an equal. They shared many of the same interests and had similar temperaments.

B'Elanna had a feeling that Harry would look at Icheb, realize how much he'd suffered in his young life and want to protect him. But Harry would also admire him for being so  
resilient and do everything he could to help Icheb find his niche on Voyager. It would also make Harry appreciate all that he had. After all, he'd had an ideal childhood, growing up with two parents who loved him and provided for him well. He had  
been allowed to explore all his interests and become whatever he wanted, to develop his own identity. Even if he had suffered some setbacks and disappointments the past few years, the successes far outweighed the failures.

Hopefully Harry would come to terms with not meeting all his high expectations and realize that he shouldn't be so hard on himself, in the process of helping Icheb confront these same issues. They both had bright futures ahead of them, and it was okay to struggle through problems and face challenges every once in a while. It was all part of the learning process. It was part of life.

"Everyone should have a mentor," Tom commented. "Someone to turn to for advice, support, and guidance. Someone who cares and listens, who respects and encourages  
you... who makes suggestions but lets you find your own way."

B'Elanna agreed. Chakotay had been her mentor for a long time, and she didn't know what she would do without him. She and Tom both considered Captain Janeway a mentor as well.

"Harry and Icheb will be a good influence on each other." That comforted her somewhat. She still felt bad about what had happened between her and Icheb. They had been  
doing so well, until...

Sensing her feelings, Tom said, "You've been a good influence on Icheb too, B'Elanna."

"That's debatable," she said, wrinkling her nose. "I still can't believe he misinterpreted my friendly overtures so badly. I mean, I'm old enough to be his mother!" B'Elanna pursed her lips, remembering Icheb's questions about spending time with her husband and the way he had clasped his hand over hers in the Jefferies tube. At the time she hadn't thought anything of it, but now it made more sense. "But maybe he believed it because he _wanted _to believe it."

Tom nodded. "He was in an awfully big hurry to get to Engineering to see you. I've never seen him move that fast."

"I just wanted to help him." Seeing him so isolated and insecure had brought out her maternal instincts.

"You still can. He'll get over this romance thing sooner or later."

"I hope so. He's a great kid, and bright, too. Inquisitive, adaptable, and a fast learner. I'd love to have him on my Engineering team."

"Maybe in a few years. He's still young."

"It's too bad that there aren't more young people his age for him to hang out with. He must miss Rebi, Azan and Mezoti."

They all did. Voyager wasn't the same without the Borg children around.

"It'd be nice to have more kids on board," Tom said.

"Yeah... but it's not probably not going to happen anytime soon, considering that no one on board is even ready to get married yet, much less have a baby."

"We're married," he pointed out.

"Besides us," she amended. "And we're not having a baby."

"Not yet, anyway."

That comment threw her off-balance. "Do you know something that I don't, Tom?"

He shrugged. "Voyager isn't such a bad place to raise a family."

B'Elanna raised an eyebrow. "Why do I get the feeling you;re trying to tell me something?"

"All I'm saying is that we have a very close-knit community on this ship. It's like one big family. There's a lot of love and support, and it's a good environment for a kid to grow  
up in."

She had to admit that he was right. Naomi was doing fine, and the Borg children had thrived while they were here.

Though she had never been all that comfortable around children, B'Elanna had actually enjoyed having them around. Enough to make her more receptive to the idea of having some of her own someday.

And in the past few years she and Tom had both resolved many family issues. Making peace with their parents had healed old wounds and made them appreciate family as they  
never had before.

Perhaps it was time to expand their family.

Still, the thought of caring for another human being, one who was completely helpless and dependent on you, was daunting. It was difficult enough being head of a department or a mentor, to see someone you'd taken under your wing suffer or make the same mistakes you once did... but it would be a million times worse with your own child.

"You'd be a terrific mom, B'Elanna," Tom said softly.

She shook her head uncertainly. "I don't know about that... but I know you'd be a terrific dad."

"We don't have to decide right now. It's just something to think about."

"Right."

Tom was glad to see that she really was seriously considering it. He had grown up in a close-knit family and had always envisioned having a family of his own. He wanted to  
have a couple of kids, at least.

He could picture it clearly: rambunctious little boys and spirited little girls scampering about Voyager's corridors, laughing in delighted mischief. Bright, beautiful children with  
sparkling eyes and slightly ridged foreheads.

He would be the best father that he could possibly be, give them everything he had. Unconditional love, guidance, support. He would spend time with them, teach them  
everything he knew, share his wisdom with them...

Read them bedtime stories, hug them close, eat pizza with them, chase away monsters, show them how to holoprogram, make them laugh, teach them to fly...

Yes, he could imagine it perfectly.

All he had to do was convince B'Elanna.

She smiled at him, as if reading his thoughts.

B'Elanna had never given much thought to having children, but the thought of having Tom's baby did appeal to her. Babies, rather, since she had a feeling he would never be content with just one.

She could picture it clearly: dark-haired, blue-eyed adorable little imps, charming, lively, and gregarious just like their father. She'd probably be chasing them all over the ship,  
calling after them in amusement and exasperation, exhorting them to listen to their mother just once...

Laugh with them, kiss away their tears, cook banana pancakes for them, comfort and love them, watch TV with them, teach them all about engineering...

... and cherish every moment of it. All of it.

"I'll think about it some more," she promised.

She couldn't _stop_ thinking about it.

The End


End file.
